glassable – n. anything that a parent tells a child not to go near because it can be broken (especially something made of glass)
With the holidays come many overly excited children and way too many glassable things out there to keep them away from. There are far too many glassable nick-knacks that could hit the ground, and they can be found just about anywhere. From the department stores to grandma’s house, or even in the display case of your own home. Holiday seasons are filled with many chocolatey, sugary treats, and this can make these kids go over the top in their sweet-induced candy high. Then fragile items might seem more glassable than ever. So, keep the kids in check, go directly to any department but china or Yuletide decorations, and hope for the best that the kids will follow your directions and not take any detour towards anything glassable along the way. If going to visit elder relatives, warn them of the impending doom that might befall any glassable items in the house, and let the grandparents plan accordingly as they wrap glassable items in tissue paper, and hide them away until Christmas vacation is over. The glassable items just might survive another season, at least until Easter. Read more...(238 words, 1 image, estimated 57 secs reading time)
Flabalanche — What happens when a fat guy loosens his belt
With the fall/winter holidays comes much feasting and celebrating, no matter what your faith. From the feasting on sugary treats on Halloween to the showers of champagne on New Year’s Eve, there is always going to be something to add to our waistline. Some of us don’t give into the media hype of New Year’s resolutions and will just let it all slide, literally. This is what is called a flabalance. Unlike a regular avalanche made of snow, ice, rock, and usually very loud sounds, a flabalanche tends to be made of overindulgence of sweets, homemade baked goods, way too much meat, lots of butter, and far too much beer to wash it down with, and let’s not forget the barbeque served up at those tailgate parties. There is no warning, much like with the natural avalanche, but a flabalanche tends to be less deadly, unless the person who had the flabalanche has a nasty bout of flatulence. Then those around him/her might get a bit of gas poisoning. Even that is only temporary. So, if you do know that this might occur at your holiday parties and family gatherings, stand aside and let the man/woman go through, just try not to be downwind when it happens.