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Flotion (flo’ shun) – n. The tendency when sharing a waterbed to undulate for five minutes every time the other person moves.
Get ready, here comes another… retro sniglet! In the days before all these fancy microfiber mattresses started making their way from Scandinavia, the closest thing you could get to get away from the old fashioned mattress and boxspring combo was a waterbed. Back in those days, they were not so well contained as these heavy duty shielded water mattresses that came out in the 90s. Flotion was purely a 70s and 80s sensation, and those who did own such fun devices back in the day might remember the flotion. If you owned any small pets that shared the bed with you, sometimes you got more flotion than you wanted, and you really hoped that the waterbed was thick enough to handle those claws your cats had been sharpening so well on the tree roots outside. Your kids found a world of wonder with flotion as the waterbed became a pirate ship. You and your spouse just kind of got into the flotion because you needed the rest after chasing pirates out of your bedroom. So to all those retro waterbed owners, go with the flotion.