T’otchlie – The notch marked on condiment packets that reads “TEAR HERE”, but never works when you try to rip them.
Earlier this week, we posted the sniglet “frustra“, and now we have a by-product of frustra, the t’otchlie. This is one of the most aggravating parts of a fast food dining experience. Sure, there is a little thing on that packet that reads “TEAR HERE”, but once you do that, you still end up mangling that little ketchup packet till it is fubar, and go for the neatly packaged ranch sauce instead. Who wouldn’t? Ranch is great on just about anything. So is challenging that little t’otchlie worth it to get to the most-likely-bad-for-you-anyway, laden with MSG and HFCS stuff inside it anyway? Many of those who think that fries are just something to pick ketchup with think so.
T’otchlies not only are on condiment packets, but also pre-measured coffee packets, as many people who work in, well just about any business that offers free coffee to their employees, will have to deal with. T’otchlie is pretty much the bane of convenience in little 1-8 ounce packets, and those packets are most often made from frustra. So to those of you who know the secret to getting around the t’otchlie, share it with us, or just continue laughing at us when we finally do get those packets open and manage to get ketchup on just about anything but our french fries.
Frustra (frus’ trah) – n. The special plastic used in the manufacture of fast-food ketchup packets.
We’ve all used them, those little Heinz ketchup packets that are given away to go with our fries, onion rings, tater tots, or whatever deep-fried side dish any particular fast-food outlet sells. You find them all over the nation, in the restaurants on the corner, in the themeparks along side corn dogs and nacho chips. Frustra is not only used in making ketchup packets, but mustard, mayonnaise, and even lemon juice. Whatever you might want to add to your food or drinks, in little one or two once packets, but not unlike those CDs that cause Wrap Rage, they can be hell to get into. That little “tear here” notch that lies to you when you try to break into the packets just to give those overly-salted strips of potato-like substances a bit of flavour is so misleading. Frustra is one of the most irritating inventions ever created, and there are most likely people at the places that make this stuff that are watching unsuspecting fast-food consumers on hidden cameras, and laughing at them as they attempt to tear open these tiny terrors of gastronomic annoyance. Maybe, sometimes, the fries just taste better without the ketchup.