Aeropalmics (ayr o palm’ iks) – n. The study of wind resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car window.
Summer breeze makes you feel fine and…. makes you want to study aeropalmics. Not exactly sure when this science was first taken up, but people have been doing it for decades. Some of us merely rest our elbows on the open window, but some of us just have to see how many times the rush of speeding air against our cupped hands will rotate as we are driving down interstates or country roads. Sometimes it is a sight to see, driving behind two people on either side of the car that are studying aeropalmics. the viewer sees a car with two rotating arms from either side of the car, and it makes for a cute photo op. Most anyone whom can reach high enough to get their arm out the car window has attempted to study aeropalmics in their own fashion, because there really is no wrong way of doing it. There are never any readings taken, and this study is down purely for fun, and usually out of boredom. How many of us will be studying aeropalmics today on our commute home from work or class? Depending on where you might be, probably many.
Ignisecond (IG ni sek und) – n. The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain is saying “my keys are in there!”
It could be the heat, some kind of distraction, the kids, a pet, or even some eye candy, that might cause an ingisecond to happen. The ignisecond is usually followed by a glance into the car window, then a wide-eyed second of “Oh, that did not just happen!”, then a slap to the forehead as a self-punishment for such stupidity. Now to the person whom the ignisecond might happen to, they might be lucky enough to have a partner with them that is carrying an extra set of keys. Most of the time this does not happen, or it could be not even the driver who has the ignisecond, but maybe one of their kids whom they sent out to the car to retrieve something. Kid’s minds are still developing, after all, and they tend not to be very wise. So, be careful with those keys, make sure you have them when you leave the car, and remember that safety first prevents not only igniseconds, but grand theft auto, which is much harder to get over than a million igniseconds. Enjoy your summer days of shopping, swimming, and sunning, and always remember where all your keys are.