With the holidays often comes clunes. Be they party guests or relatives, they just can’t seem to get enough of your company, beer, liquor, poker-playing skills, wide-screen TV, pumpkin pie, and CD collection. They are the ones whose kids end up falling asleep on the couch or in the spare room until the parents take them home, or they might just end up staying over with the grandparents, because the kids are being less of a nuisance than their mother and father are. Clunes also tend to hang out in your driveway, telling stories while drinking beer and smoking cigarettes or maybe more illegal substances, and this makes the risk of them hanging around even greater. It is bad enough that you are having to keep people in line at a holiday party, and if some guests get too rowdy, you might have the law on your lawn. It might not be so bad, after all, taking the clunes to the cooler will most definitely get them off your property and away from your booze. Next time there is a party, you could be the clune, just so someone else can know what its like. Read more...(226 words, 1 image, estimated 54 secs reading time)
Kinstirpation – A painful inability to move relatives who come to visit.
So, Labor Day is right around the corner, and your end of summer barbeque is in its planning stages. You’ll most likely have the three B’s, burgers, bratwurst, and beer, along with all the trimmings, but when the sun falls, and all the relatives you invited over are bloated with way too much charcoal-broiled goodness, you will have to deal with kinstirpation. These people will not want to move, might wash down the day’s feast with more beer, and will settle on your couch to watch a game, or maybe play some video games. Some might curl up in a ball with the family dog on your bed, or maybe your children’s beds, depending on how small they are. It’s going to take some time to get them to move. Maybe you should have planned a lighter menu, maybe you can wake them up with scent of sponge cake or crispy corn fritters frying. Nothing gets people moving like an opportunity to get a free dessert, no matter how quick and easy it might be. If you still are having kinstirpation, then it might be time to release that family pet that has problems with flatulence or the one with the really bad temper. Kinstirpation can really only be taken care of in creative ways. The best way to avoid it is to let someone else host the cook-outs and holiday parties. Read more...(267 words, 1 image, estimated 1:04 mins reading time)