quash squash (kwash skwash) (v.tr.) The act of walking on the outer sides of one’s feet to dampen the squishing sound of squeaky tennis shoes. Literally, to annul a squishing sound.
New sneakers, there’s nothing like them, especially when they get wet. That is the time when you start to quash squash. If you don’t, then everyone will know where you are and where you will be going. Not only that, they will know that you somehow, did something embarrassing and stupid enough to get your new sneakers wet. No sneaking into classes or work late. No slipping away for cigarette breaks or cutting a class. Unless you quash squash, your stealthy days are over, at least till your shoes dry out, or you change into a dry pair. Sometimes, it might not even be the shoes that are working against you, but the floors you might be walking on, such as the times we hear gription at basketball games, and there is no way for ten players on a court to quash squash that sound. That variation on a squeech can never be quash squashed, so our poor ears will have to bear it for the length of the game. As to having to quash squash on the way home, best not stay out too late, and you can avoid having to quash squash at all.
Gription (grip’ shun) – n. The sound of sneakers squeaking against the floor during basketball games.
This is the season for indoor sports, and gription is a very common sound through gymnasiums and sports arenas all over the world at this time. Talented and tall boys and girls, men and women are taking to the courts and torturing our ears with that squeaky sound of their huge basketball shoes on those waxed wooden floors. From coast to coast, if they aren’t slicing up ice in a figure skating or hockey rick, or shredding snow on peaks high and low with skis and snowboards, then they are dunking baskets, from as little as 30 to as much as 150 points a game. Just when you thought the craziness of football season is finally over, you find yourself en route to the March Madness and the Sweet Sixteen. Gription is the sound that you will hear every step, leap, jump, dribble, and possible travel of the way. No matter what brand, from cheapo Wal-Mart Starters to state of the art Nikes, they all make the same sound, and do the same thing. Enjoy the winter inside, and try not to cringe when those sneakers are sqeaking so loudly nearby. After all, this is a winter pastime, and it is not going anywhere.