FETCHPLEX (fech’ pleks) n. State of momentary confusion in a dog whose owner has faked throwing the ball & palmed it behind his back.
It’s a mean, but funny thing we do to get that fetchplex out of our pets. It is so cute to see them looking around for that tennis ball or squeaky toy that they knew you were going to throw but somehow never hit the ground. The fetchplex is not purely a canine thing. Cats can be affected by it, too. Even more so, since their toys tend to have little bells in them. They can hear that bell, but they don’t know where the ringing is coming from. Fetchplexes from dogs and cats have a different look to them. Where dogs and puppies will start to dart off looking for the ball or toy, cats will just give you a blank, but cold stare that says, “I see what you did there!” even if they didn’t.
With cats this works with their favourite foods as well. Surely you might have little tuna-takers and ranch-robbers padding their little paws through your kitchen, but if you hide their treats, they will still manage to give you the fetchplex. Cat or dog, no matter which, they might get wiser to the little game as they get older, because they know they are the true boss of the house, and they will always get what they want.
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.