Oenophileophobe: The fear of being stuck at dinner with someone who likes to flaunt his knowledge of wine.
Everyone likes the chance of getting to go to a fancy restaurant. The food is usually better than what you usually make at home or get at the local quick-service eateries or delis. If you do get the chance to feast on something worth more than standard paycheck, be careful that you don’t let your dining partner know that you might be an oenophileophobe. These snooty people just live and breath their universal knowledge of the vino, and even though they might know which year is best for what region, and which grapes might have gotten hit by a blight in 1964, his or her incessant lecture about your choice of beverage makes you really wish you had ordered a beer. These are the guys and girls who know exactly what wine should go with each course, from soup to dessert, and will never let you forget it. If you are lucky enough to have ever have been to the Panama City Beach Winery, then you know that these snobs really don’t know everything, but enjoy the dinner anyway, especially if they are paying. This tirade will only last about as long as a horror movie, and in the end, you will still end up safe and sound in your own home.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.