Bumperglints (bump’ ur glintz) – n. The small reflective obstacles in the middle of interstate highways which supposedly keep drivers awake and on track.
Country roads can be very dark on moonless nights, as can long stretches of interstate between exits. Blessed be for bumperglints! If you have ever driven on roads without these little lifesavers on the night of a new moon, then you know exactly how wonderful they can be. If you live in the city or suburbia, then these might be a pretty common thing for you to see. Out in the real country, where some dirt and clay roads might resemble something from the Australian Outback, we really need bumperglints, though they will most likely never be seen. It sure would be nice to have something to light up the sides of the roads to see the wild animals by. We get to wondering if that bump in the road was a rock, an armadillo, or a possum. Possums, yeah, those marsupials from the Deep South that like to sleep in the middle of the roads. Sometimes, if we are lucky enough to have bumperglints on the roads, they are blocks by those things. For all those who do have bumperglints, enjoy the blessings of your local D.O.T. They are keeping you safer than you realise.
Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.