Assmosis (aes-mo-sis) n. Success and advancement achieved by kissing up to the boss rather than working.
Times are tough, and it is hard to know now if assmosis is a good way to work up the corporate ladder. Sure, there are lots of egos that still need stroking at the top, otherwise the government would not keep giving them those tax breaks. So how does the little guy live the dream we have seen in such moves like How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying and The Secret of My Succe$s. He learns how to use assmosis to his best advantage, and ladies, this works well for you, too. Assmosis works best in really big companies, so if you are working in the smaller sectoer, and there is not much of a corporate ladder to climb, just keep working hard, because small business owners are pretty much just little guys themselves that have big ideas and a little backing to make them work. No, assmosis is for those who are stuck in the mailrooms and cube farms, or for the ladies back in the day, the typing pool, whom are trying to make a break for that corner office. It might be wrong and distasteful, but in an economy where it’s every man or woman for themselves, assmosis might be the only thing that can save you from seeing that pink slip. Good luck out there, you’re going to need it!