Newswafer – an old newspaper that stays on a drive way so long that cars drive over it and turn it into a flattened pile of pulp. The only way to pick it up is with a snow shovel.
It is odd how it happens, how newswafers are formed. Was there just no good news on that day it was forgotten about? Was it a Sunday edition that was filled with far too many ads? So, now there is this sticky wet square of grey goop on the driveway. We are not sure how long it has been there. How many times has it been driven over? How much rain or snow has fallen on it? Was soda spilled on it? Did animals mark it? No matter how it got that way, it needs to be taken to a regular old trash can, because it is beyond recycling by now. So break out the snow shovel, or an old set of barbeque tongs to grab this piece of nasty news. No matter what the headlines said on that day, we will never know, because this paper will only be making its way to a landfill. You can’t even line a birdcage with it now.
One-liner of the day:
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times the memory.