Lactomangulation – n. Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the “illegal” side.
Even in this day of plastic jugs for just about every kind of beverage, you will sometimes find milk in paper cartons in the smaller size, quart, pint, or half pint. Sometimes that little bit of origami that is labeled as a “spout” just does not want to work quite right. Maybe too much glue was placed there, or the paper might just be a bit stronger than we are lead to believe, but that is the time when you end up giving into lactomangulation, and spinning that carton around, and tearing through the “wrong” side to get to all that calcium goodness to pour over your cereal, into a big blob of chocolate syrup, or into a beautifully complex dairy dessert. Don’t worry about the dairy police, because resorting to opening the wrong side of a milk carton is about as illegal as cutting the tag off a mattress. Do what you need to get to that milk that those cows created for you. It will be worth every drop.
One-liner of the Day :
The Miss Universe pageant is fixed. All the winners are from Earth.