Wondracide (WUN druh side) – n. The act of murdering a piece of bread with a knife and cold butter.
There is nothing quite as satisfying as fluffy white bread with real butter. When it comes to commercially baked breads, Wonder is about as fluffy as it gets, but it is a very weak white bread when it comes to taking on out of the fridge butter. It can handle peanut butter and most spreads or jams, mayo or mustard, all those condiments as soft and pliable as Wonder bread itself. To take a stainless steel butter knife, cold butter, or even a hard butter substitute, like Smart Balance, to that white bread, that little fluffy slice does not stand a chance. That cold little rock of hardened cream and salt, or variations thereof is along with its accomplice, the butter knife, is going to be that slice of bread’s demise. Why are those fluffy, crusty wheat clouds so weak? Why do other white breads, like French, Italian, or Artisan stand up to the challenge of cold butter without being obliterated? It’s another food mystery we have yet to explore, but as times have changed, so has some bread companies, looking to get away from that fluffy substance that was full of, well, fluff and no substance. Then it really is not much of a wonder why so many Wondracides occured before the 1990s.