Chwads (chwadz) – n. The small, disgusting wads of chewed gum commonly found beneath table and counter tops.
Chwads are something we don’t usually see, but we know they are there. In school, we tend to find them under desks, which might be one of the many reason we really should not be chewing gum in class, let alone the fact that it might end up in someone’s hair. In casual restaurants and diners, people, for some stupid reason, will put the gum under the table rather than wrapping it up in one of the many paper napkins freely offered on the table. In theatres, they are just part of the cinemuck, but this kind sticks to the seat, and not to the floor. Chwads come in many different flavours, but most of us are too grossed out by them to find out what kind. We usually leave that to the bugs to find out. If the ants want that bubblegum, let them have it. If a palmetto bug wants minty fresh breath, by all means, have a go at it, but do it late at night when no one is there to see it, and get even further grossed out by it. We can get grossed out enough by watch movies like Piranha, or playing games like Amnesia. There are always going to be chwads everywhere, just do your best not to add to their population.