Flarpswitch (flarp’ switch) – n. The one light switch in every house with no function whatsoever.
No one knows why architects add it, or why builders even put it in there, but it seems, in every house that has access to electricity, at least in North America, you will find a flarpswitch. Even Mike Holmes has yet to tell us about this mystery. It seems that even he is baffled by their existence, but given the things he has had to deal with, a little thing like a flarpswitch might be a blessing to him and his crew. You could most likely go through your house this very second and find the flarpswitch. They usually tend to be garages, hallways, or basements, connected to nothing. If they are connected to anything, it most likely is not anywhere remotely close to the flarpswitch itself. You probably won’t find the business end of the flarpswitch. Kudos to those who do. Could you possibly tell us where it leads to, and what its purpose might be? Like the ancient Nazca Lines and other unearthly mysteries, there might be some alien goofballs with a sick sense of humour behind this all. If they got loose from Area 51 and started incorporating flarpswitches into housing designs for a good laugh, we need to capture them quickly. How many more unsuspecting earthlings are going to cause greys to giggle uncontrollably will trying to figure out what a flarpswitch does?
Kids are so HYPER these days, I wouldn’t be patient enough to be a Kindergarten Teacher… we’d have to play games like DUCT, DUCT, TAPE