Eiffelites (eye’ ful eyetz) – n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.
So, you are wanting to take in a hot, new movie in a frigidly cooled, air-conditioned theatre to beat the heat this summer. So you take your cash, debit card, whatever legal tender you carry, and hit the Multiplex down the street to see that great new, action-packed fantasy adventure or romantic comedy, and you find the best seat in the house, until…
Eiffelites invade your viewing space. They tend to sit right in front of you, and since this is not stadium seating, you are going to have to take your chances on some good entertainment, because they are going to follow your every move. Somehow, they manage to do this without even knowing that you are moving back and forth to see past them. There goes your cooled-off Saturday afternoon! You are wanting your money back so you can put it in your gas tank and head to a beach/creek/pool/lake, because the movie is now a bust due to bad theatre design. The theatre management is unlikely to give back your money because of eiffelites, so just try to enjoy the rest of the movie, at least those parts you can actually see.
Common sense is so rare it should be classified as a super power