Mozzalastics (maht suh las’ tiks) – n. Large deposits of cheese that stick to the top of the pizza box.
There’s nothing quite as good as a delivery pizza on the weekend, no matter what time of year it is, but for some reason, no matter how sturdy those cardboard pizza boxes are, they still cannot seem to get the pizza from the shop to your house without mozzalastics from forming. Sometimes, it’s not such a bad thing, because it might hold that pile of topping that fall off the pizza in the middle of the box together, thus making it easier to left out and get an extra little helping of cheese and those other bits of goodies, or “goop”, as some people call them. There may be a purpose for mozzlastics, but no one can really think of one. So, are they just stretchy bit of Italian cheeses clinging to the box for dear life? Are they protecting the other toppings from getting stuck to the top of the box, too? It’s a mystery about mozzalastics, but if you are lucky enough to get a pizza delivered to your home or business, and there are no mozzalastics, then go hit the dog track or the C-store for a lotto ticket immediately. If the pizza gods are favouring you, then the other ones might be, too.