Ambiportalous (am bih PORT ahl us) – adj. Possessing the uncanny knack for approaching a set of double doors and ALWAYS pushing the locked one.
We don’t know why some of us do it, or how we manage to find the thing we are not supposed to, but the ambiportalous people do this all the time. At school, in businesses, and sometimes even in their own homes, if they are lucky enough to live in houses with double doors. If you are one of these people whom are cursed to be ambiportalous, you know how frustrating life can be because of this little quirk. It makes some people laugh, but all you want to do is rant and kick at the door that is causing the problem. The thing is, even though not everyone is ambiportalous, just about everyone has done what you do at one time or another, so they might actually know where you are coming from when you do want to go into your tirade for attempting to open that locked up double door by mistake. This architectural flaw that has plagued your life won’t be going away any time soon, so all you ambiportalous people just do your best, and remember that it only takes a second to switch to the other side.
When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.