Kinstirpation – A painful inability to move relatives who come to visit.
So, Labor Day is right around the corner, and your end of summer barbeque is in its planning stages. You’ll most likely have the three B’s, burgers, bratwurst, and beer, along with all the trimmings, but when the sun falls, and all the relatives you invited over are bloated with way too much charcoal-broiled goodness, you will have to deal with kinstirpation. These people will not want to move, might wash down the day’s feast with more beer, and will settle on your couch to watch a game, or maybe play some video games. Some might curl up in a ball with the family dog on your bed, or maybe your children’s beds, depending on how small they are. It’s going to take some time to get them to move. Maybe you should have planned a lighter menu, maybe you can wake them up with scent of sponge cake or crispy corn fritters frying. Nothing gets people moving like an opportunity to get a free dessert, no matter how quick and easy it might be. If you still are having kinstirpation, then it might be time to release that family pet that has problems with flatulence or the one with the really bad temper. Kinstirpation can really only be taken care of in creative ways. The best way to avoid it is to let someone else host the cook-outs and holiday parties.
Things that you learn in the South: A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.