vendage (ven’dej) a. (n.) The age, usually unknown, of over-processed food items found in common vending machines.
Most every workplace has them, and many schools, too. Those vending machines, but while the drink machines tend to get used often and their stock is replaced frequently, some other vending machines are not seen to as much. These usually contain candy, chips, baked goods with so many preservatives, they will most likely turn up on Life After People as something that will even outlive Mt. Rushmore and cockroaches. This is when you question the vendage of certain coin machine items. Some of those items might not even be sold in normal stores anymore. When was the last time anyone actually saw a Zagnut bar? Oh, Hershey still makes them, but with that awful mix of coconut and peanutbutter, it is no wonder that the vendage of that certain item that has been sitting in said vending machine since 1985 or earlier would be questionable. Then there are the baked goods, the Hostess cakes, or honey buns that come from some obscure snack cake bakery no one has ever heard of. These items are fill with so much fake sugar and transfats, you know they will be able to handle over a decade of sitting in a vending machine, but they usually don’t. If you must drop quarters into those machines today, make sure you check the dates on the items you buy. If the vendage is questionable, then ingesting the item or items will most likely be, too.