Clumfert (KLUM furt) – n. The invisible extra step at the top and bottom of a staircase. Usually materializes when one is carrying a large bag of groceries.
As today is Saturday, most likely many of you reader will be going grocery shopping today, and, unless you live in a ranch-style house, you may have to deal with a clumfert. We don’t know why it happens. Perhaps there is some kind of mischievious imp living under the stairs or stoop, but for some reason, whenever you are carrying something large, and you can’t see exactly where you are putting your feet, the clumfert appears. Hopefully, most people can adjust to the sudden change when this step appears. Sometimes, people aren’t so lucky or dextrous,and the result can be disastrous. Even worse if eggs or breakable glass items might be in those packages. Since the advent of plastic grocery bags, the appearances of clumfert has dropped over the years, but there are some stores that still use the old-fashioned big paper bags. These old style bags tend to have better standing power, and are less likely to topple over in the car trunk, so the groceries seem safer, that is, until the clumfert appears. Well, good luck with that.