Come-On-Downs – n. the blue feeling you get while watching a game show and knowing all the answers to the questions, but you cannot win anything because you are stuck in your living room.
Many of us have had this happen, the come-on-downs are really rather depressing. It’s is irritating to have this vast amount of trivia knowledge while you watch some hack from some town you’ve never heard of answering everything wrong. You pull at your hair, and say things, like “You moron, how could you not know that?” Somehow, this same hack turns the game around in his or her favour and ends up on the show for weeks and breaks all kinds of bizarre records. What’s worse is that you know that you could have beat everyone on that show in a shot with your knowledge. Another version of the come-on-downs is come-on-over, in which you see all kinds of wonderful exotic locations and sinfully rich foods on travel shows, and again, you are stuck in your living room while Samantha Brown dines in some four-star hotel’s restaurant in Orlando, or you are watching as Anthony Bourdain indulges in dishes that seem decadant, but simple, and you can understand why he keeps having blissful dining experiences. To make matters worse, Travel Channel or Conde’ Nast is picking up the tab. The winnings from the show you can’t be on to go to those places would have paid for that! You know what, just shut off the TV, and take out your frustrations on a shooting game on your Playstation 3. That was you can pretend the enemies are the idiots who you could have been winning money off of.