SLOOPAGE (slu’ paj) n. The tendency of hot dogs, hamburgers, and sandwich contents to slip from between their covers.
It won’t be long before we start up the charcoal grills and hit the drive-in restaurants for grilled hot dogs, hamburgers, and other sandwiches. With these activities comes sloopage. It is a brutal ritual which usually ends up in clothing abuse. The slippery culprits tend to be mayonnaise and kethcup, but now even honey mustard and even grilled onions that can cause this meaty avalanche onto your checkerboard table cloth, or maybe right into you lap, or, for you well-endowed ladies, on your chest. This might be the gods’ way of reminding you that they have a sense of humour, and might not be above pranking certain foolish mortals. It could simply be a matter of too many dressings and not enough bread to hold them all in check. Even those juicy tomatoes can lead sloopage if your fingers aren’t nimble enough to hold them down. Even the basic ham and cheese sandwich can cause sloopage. Hold on to your ingredients tightly, and you won’t lose your lunch, at least not by sloopage. Those New York and Chicago dogs are going to bark loud enough later, and the chili dogs won’t howl only at night, but your co-workers and fellow students might if they see you’ve become a victim of sloopage.