Legion (2010) Heaven Will Unleash Hell On Earth

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The world is going to hell in a handbasket and the almighty wants to help it along. God is pissed and now he is going to piss it all away and he is going to send his angels from on high to do it. They are not going to rain down judgement they are going to drive us all insane and we are going to kill each other with them in our bodies. The angels are going to possess us not the demons. I am sure if any demons were around they might actually try and help us just to rub coal in the eye of God. The only thing more hated then this film are the critics that tore it up worse then the Titanic of Posiden. This movie gets a bad rap for all the wrong reasons just like the republicans get praised for all the wrong reasons. They just didn’t like this film because it did not conform to what they think a horror show or thriller should be like. Can you believe that Piranha got better reviews then this film? I guess they didn’t add enough blood and random violence to the budget to attract all the sycophants out there. It is also quite possibly that the producers didn’t pay the churches enough to shut their mouths about this film. Like any film it has its good points and bad but it is not as horrible as the critics would like you to believe.

In the middle of nowhere is the last chance gas station Paradise Falls that is run by a father and son team Bob and Jeep Hanson. With them is their one handed cook Percy Walker and their very pregnant waitress that can’t seem to stop smoking Charlie. Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) hates the baby she is carrying but can’t bring herself to harm it so is instead planing on giving it up for adoption just as soon as it is born. She doesn’t know why she can’t bring herself to end the pregnancy and hates what it is doing to her but no mater how hard she wants to she just can’t hurt the child. Jeep (Lucas Black) could care less if she is pregnant or not, he just wants to make sure that she is OK and OK with herself and will do anything that he can to help her out. His father thinks he is nuts for wanting to help and caring about her. Bob (Dennis Quaid) has been living without hope ever since his wife and Jeep’s mother walked out on them seemingly because she was sick and tired of living in the middle of nowhere. The cook? Well Percy Walker (Charles S. Dutton) is a god fearing black man of a cook, a stereotype that has been used way to much ever since Deep Blue Sea. I guess the fact that he has only one hand makes a difference and lets them make a joke of it later.

As to the customers we start off with a wealthy family with a mad at the world teen Audrey Anderson (Willa Holland), her father Howard Anderson (Jon Tenney) who wants to make a difference but his stupid 90210 wife Sandra Anderson (Kate Walsh) is afraid someone might think bad of them if they know that there is a problem in the family. So typical of a rich family with a troubled child and they wonder why the child is messed up. The next person to join this oh so happy bunch is a possible rapper/gangster Kyle Williams (Tyrese Gibson) that is trying desperately to find his way out of the desert and see his son that his ex is trying to keep from him. He wants to get his life put back together and is trying to start with his son when he finds Paradise Falls. It is while he is trying to use their phone that all hell starts to come loose as the phone, the radio and the tv go out. God has started the end it just hasn’t gotten to their little part of nowhere just yet. Then hells or should I say heavens demonic grandma walks in for a rare fly ridden steak.

All the angels sent to kill man are acting more like demons and they are all glad to do the Father’s will. I guess they are just jealous of all the attention man has been getting and are happy that they are on the outs with the old man. They get to act like demons and are even being told to do so. Michael (Paul Bettany) is the exception though. He feels that killing man’s last hope at redemption and salvation is the wrong thing to do and it doesn’t matter that his Father has told him to do it. He is going to do everything that he can to make sure that man will have a chance to get it right even if it costs him all that he is. The showdown between him and Gabriel (Kevin Durand) is indeed epic and a scene well done. Unfortunately that is where the film starts to fail in some respects. From that point on the film is a bit rushed like someone yelled that they only had so much time left or else. I would like to know what the or else was since we have films that are so damned long now. Its like 20 minutes were just deleted from the film but at least they do get the story told.

While the film might not be the best in the world it was sure as hell better then the stupid idiotic blood feast that was Piranha. People actual liked seeing body parts thrown at the screen instead of seeing a gritty thriller about the end of man at the hands of angels. Can you tell which I think was better? This film is definitely worth seeing.

I give this film a Musing review of ★★★★☆☆