Fictate (fik’ tayt) – v. To inform a television or screen character of impending danger under the assumption they can hear you.
Many great movies come out during the holiday season, and no matter what genre they fall under, you might find yourself fictating through some of them. This will usually happen with adventure and horror movies, but it can happen with family films, and maybe even romantic comedies, if the characters are acting stupid enough. This will be most common with horror films, even though we expect characters to get caught up in dangerous situations with antagonists like demons, monsters, aliens, vampires, and insane psychotic serial killers, maybe even Death itself. It can happen with adventure films when the hero goes into a tomb filled with snakes or spiders or other creepy vermin that makes our skin crawl. No matter what the fictional situation, we tend to forget that these characters are not real, and if the movies is really good, we might find ourselves telling these scripted characters where not to go, or trying to warn them to Watch Out! It’s right behind you! Read more...(258 words, 1 image, estimated 1:02 mins reading time)
FLUGGLING (flug’ ul ing) v. The dangerous practice, in a darkened room, of using one’s finger to guide the end of an electrical plug into a wall socket.
So how many of you were fluggling over the last month at some time when putting those lights on the Christmas tree? Sure, the room does look so pretty when it’s dark and poof, up come all those pretty lights come on. Is it really worth seeing this annual phenomenon to risk electrocution. Well, no matter what the media says, the number one cause of death is stupidity, whether it be by eating the wrong things, mixing the wrong pharmaceuticals, following an insane dictator or theocratic leader to your demise, or even fluggling. Some of these can be avoided. Read the labels, reconsider your options medically, politically, or faith-based, and don’t fluggle. So, have a Happy New Year, don’t drink and drive, and become another one of the many deaths by stupidity over the holidays, and make sure you keep all the lights on when you take down the Christmas tree. You know you moved a lamp from that spot, so be careful when putting it back, and maybe you’ll be able to survive to next Yule when supposedly the world is going to end. Come to think of it, why are the fundies Christians going nuts over a pagan prophecy anyway?
Spontanudity (spon-tuh-noo-di-tee) n. A quick or rash decision to remove clothing, usually in public and usually after imbibing a large amount of alcohol.
Well, holiday parties are both ahead and behind us. So how many of you Musings readers got caught up in some spontanudity at the office holiday party this year? It might not have been so risky back in the day before the camera phones. If you did get caught on film, it was usually because someone was carrying around a Polaroid camera, and blessed be that there was no YouTube so millions of people around the world could not see how freaky you could be once a certain amount of booze got into your system. Spontanudity sure isn’t what it used to be. It’s just too risky to let the good times roll any more. With high level security everywhere, and frivolous lawsuits dropping on circuit court clerks desks like jellybeans from a bag on Easter Sunday, it’s best to slow down on the free bar, and stick with soda pop and fruit juice, maybe even bottled water. So, have fun on New Year’s Eve, and if you get caught in a shower of champagne, don’t try to drink it. Just enjoy the not-so-wise party goers when they run the risk of spontanudity instead.
Carcreak – n. Those crackling, tinkling, creaky noises your car makes after you park and turn it off.
We’ve all heard the carcreak. It’s like the car doesn’t know that you have shut it off, and it’s still going through the motions of trying to shut down. What exactly is it doing? It can actually be a little creepy, hearing all those creaky and tinging noises as you walk away from your parking space or garage. You just want to say, “I shut you off, would you shut up already!” I mean you are there with the keys in your hand, so you know the car is off, but why does it keep whining as you are walking away. it is only a machine, right? Some people don’t think so, else they would not invest so much money or care into their cars, but even those cars still have a carcreak. Don’t get creeped out as your cat attempts to cool itself down. Even cookies sizzle a little bit when you pull them from the oven. Think of the carcreak as one giant cookie, and the analogy is pretty sound, but the sound of a carcreak sure isn’t. Read more...(217 words, 1 image, estimated 52 secs reading time)
Conagraphs (kohn’ a grafs) – n. The raised relief squares on an ice cream cone.
Even though the weather outside is frightful, that does not stop us from wanting ice cream any time of the year, and what could be better than a double dip of any favourite flavour in a sugar or waffle cone. Conagraphs are what make these cones so much better than those little cup cones that get served at the fast food outlets. Anyone that frequents places like Baskin-robbins or more obscure places like Going Banana Splits, you want those conagraphs to catch every little drop that might slide down into the bottom of the cone. Ice cream is a precious commodity that has only been put in such cones for about the last century. We should enjoy it while we can, and only go for those brands that feature all natural ingredients so we can savour the many wonderful flavours from home-style vanilla to daiquiri ice and everything in between. The combination of ideas for flavours never seems to end. Conagraphs come in two varieties, large and small, but the large waffle cones tend to be more popular. Back in the 1980s, many outlets baked the cones on site in a special waffle iron, so you could smell the sweet goodness all over the street or themepark, which was so good for business. Don’t know how many places still do this, but if you run across one, don’t leave without giving it a try.