Musings From Us Entries For Satire

The following are the various articles that have been filed and posted under the category of General Musings / Satire that can be found here at Musings From Us, for your enjoyment.

Sniglet of the Day: January 5

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Sniglet Of The DaySharpict (shahr-pict) n. A person addicted to smelling Sharpies.

By now, many of us have gone back to work, and some maybe back to school after the holiday break, and we are constantly surrounded by hordes of office supplies. This is a paradise to the sharpict. To them, there is nothing like the scent of a Sharpie laundry marker. Those whom are sharpicts know that there is much more to these than merely writing on t-shirts. Then again, just about any permanent marker has a scent that most of us just can’t get enough of. Some hardbound books have that newly printed ink scent that can last for years, even decades, and let’s not even go there with those retro mimeographed quizzes we took in math class. The scent of newly tumbled test sheets was so lovely, that it was amazing that we could concentrate on those equations. Newly photocopied test sheets just aren’t the same, and if you were the teacher’s aide that was lucky enough to help out while she made those ditto sheets, you’d be in a chemical heaven all afternoon. Now, Sharpies are not the same as newly bound books or ditto sheets, but they still have a scent that most everyone loves. Sometimes we wonder why a trip to a local office supply store seems so satisfying and fascinating. Now we know, but this also leaves us to wonder if the staff working at these stores get the same inky chemical rush all day long that we encounter in the short time that we are there.

Sniglet of the Day : January 3

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Sniglet Of The DayAeroma (ayr oh’ ma) – n. The odor emanating from an exercise room after an aerobics workout.

So, it’s the third day of a new year, and many Musings readers are most likely working on their New Years resolutions to eat healthier and get more fit. Some of us might have loftier ideas, like to plan ahead, or to become more charismatic, but for those whom are sticking to the basics, you are most likely going to end up going to a gym or fitness centre someday within the fortnight, and you may encounter an aeroma. You could be passing by it, or even be part of the crowd creating it, but no matter what, this vaporous amoeba of odor will engulf your olfactory nerves in such a manner that you might consider rethinking those basic fitness plans for the new year, and try for something a bit more adventurous or cerebral. Outdoor hiking might create the same scent, but at least it won’t be contained into one compact space. Another great thing about outdoors workouts is the fact that there are plenty of other scents to mask the aeroma, like woods, flowers, animals, chemical pollutants, etc. So, good luck with those plans, and let us know how they work out for ya.

Sniglet of the Day : January 1

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Sniglet Of The Dayitard (i-tard): somone who is using an iphone and has no idea how to operate the device.

I’m one of those odd people in America that don’t own an i-phone or i-pod, or even knows who iCarly is. I’ve lived on this planet for forty-seven years now, and I go through over thirty-five of them not having to have these little bits of electronic addiction. I suppose if I ever had a reason to obtain an i-whatever, I might be an i-tard for a few days, because even on the commercials, those things look pretty confusing to me. I don’t know if Musings readers will find this fact about me a bit odd, old-fashioned, or just a little too bohemian, but I’m sure that I am not the only one of us out there that doesn’t own one of these i-thingies. If we do get lucky or cursed, and find ourselves in the possession of one of these items, please don’t judge us too harshly when we can’t figure it out right away. We got through the Big 80s and the Naughty 90s. This is the generation that doomed to work with microchips without being trained on them since the first Tron movie came out. We got this.

Sniglet of the Day : December 31

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Sniglet Of The DayFictate (fik’ tayt) – v. To inform a television or screen character of impending danger under the assumption they can hear you.

Many great movies come out during the holiday season, and no matter what genre they fall under, you might find yourself fictating through some of them. This will usually happen with adventure and horror movies, but it can happen with family films, and maybe even romantic comedies, if the characters are acting stupid enough. This will be most common with horror films, even though we expect characters to get caught up in dangerous situations with antagonists like demons, monsters, aliens, vampires, and insane psychotic serial killers, maybe even Death itself. It can happen with adventure films when the hero goes into a tomb filled with snakes or spiders or other creepy vermin that makes our skin crawl. No matter what the fictional situation, we tend to forget that these characters are not real, and if the movies is really good, we might find ourselves telling these scripted characters where not to go, or trying to warn them to Watch Out! It’s right behind you!

Sniglet of the Day : December 30

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Sniglet Of The DayFLUGGLING (flug’ ul ing) v. The dangerous practice, in a darkened room, of using one’s finger to guide the end of an electrical plug into a wall socket.

So how many of you were fluggling over the last month at some time when putting those lights on the Christmas tree? Sure, the room does look so pretty when it’s dark and poof, up come all those pretty lights come on. Is it really worth seeing this annual phenomenon to risk electrocution. Well, no matter what the media says, the number one cause of death is stupidity, whether it be by eating the wrong things, mixing the wrong pharmaceuticals, following an insane dictator or theocratic leader to your demise, or even fluggling. Some of these can be avoided. Read the labels, reconsider your options medically, politically, or faith-based, and don’t fluggle. So, have a Happy New Year, don’t drink and drive, and become another one of the many deaths by stupidity over the holidays, and make sure you keep all the lights on when you take down the Christmas tree. You know you moved a lamp from that spot, so be careful when putting it back, and maybe you’ll be able to survive to next Yule when supposedly the world is going to end. Come to think of it, why are the fundies Christians going nuts over a pagan prophecy anyway?