A funny thing happened on the way to the blog…

This entry was posted in General Musings, Satire by Cleave on

I am sure some of you have noticed that for the past week there were mostly posts from Snowfoxx and not me and there is a reason for that. On the 28th of September 2011 I woke up with some pressure on my first molar. I didn’t think much about it as I had popcorn the previous night and took a floss pick and got a kernel out. That alleviated the pressure but not completely but enough to not be a bother. All that day it kept nagging at me till I took a bite of dinner and I heard an awful popping noise and something gritty was in my mouth. The pressure was stronger now and starting to hurt. When I inspected the grit it was in fact a filling that had been forced out of the tooth. It had been there for over 30 years and then just wham pop it was out and air was flowing over a now raw nerve.

When something happens to your teeth you just do what you can to clean it up till you can see someone about it, so I rinsed my mouth out and then felt something wiggly and sharp in the middle of the tooth. Just as I was about to try and see what it was I heard a cracking noise and the pressure become intense, almost tear causing intense. There was then a loud crunch and crack that even my wife heard, my tooth had cracked and a chunk of tooth fell out into my hand. It wasn’t a big chunk but it was a sliver that could have been a dagger for some pixie, that was the way it was shaped. Now the pain really started, the molar behind was pushing into it and causing all sorts of pain. The more pain the more irritated and irrational I got. The slightest thing would set me off ranting about it. Something had to be done and it had to be done now, the only problem was that it was Sunday and no dentists was available, so I had to wait. That was one hell of a long night for the entire family, you would have thought a wounded dog was in the house with all the moaning and outbursts from me.

The next day my dear frazzled wife started to frantically call everyone she could to get me some help but when ever she would mention that a wisdom tooth was still in my mouth they would say sorry but they don’t do wisdom teeth and just hang up. Finally she got a hold of my normal dentist and explained what was going on and you guessed it, soon as wisdom tooth was mentioned they started to call and end to the call right there. I guess they heard all the fuss and racked I was doing in the background and then actually listened to what she was saying. It was not a wisdom tooth that was the problem but a tooth on the other side of a tooth that was next to the wisdom tooth. You see no one in our town will do wisdom teeth any more. Seems that the last person that pulled a wisdom tooth had to have physical therapy afterward and none of the dentists wanted to do that. That dentist was my dentist and the wisdom tooth he pulled was my own. With crown and roots my last wisdom tooth pulled was almost a full inch in length and it took him so long to get it out. Talk about a big tooth of a tale but being that they had seen me before and that it was not a wisdom tooth they said they could fit me in the next day.

Oh what Joy, I got to have another sleepless night with only ibuprofen to help dull the pain. Pain can be a funny thing, it can make you dizzy and it can make you cry and it never does anything like you would expect, especially with teeth. During the wee hours of the night there would be no pressure or pain but as the day grew and the heat rose so did the pressure and pain and it can make you do some crazy things as you will see.

So the next day I go to the dentist and they take an x-ray and see that the tooth definitely had to come out because of the crack and the the big sliver that had come out. There was no way to save the tooth so they proceeded to numb the whole area and start to work. I can’t fault my dentist for what happened, he is used to working on kids and people whose teeth are just falling out. After about fifteen minutes of fighting with the tooth he remembered exactly who I was and said he would have to make a note on my chart about the roots that I have. I have tremendously long roots. I don’t know if my other family members have them or not but boy do I ever, they are 2 times or more longer then what you actually see in my mouth. I was not having fun at all, I was straining to keep my mouth open and the numbness was starting to go away and still the tooth would not budge. After over an hour and still he could not get the tooth to budge. They had to find another way and it would not be there. They themselves started calling around and the only person that could see me was over an our away in another state. I know I was in another state of mind and some of the day I can’t even remember except for pain and heat.

So my wife gets me into the car as best she can, I am a rather tall and solid man and she not so tall, and heads to get some gas for the car. When we had gotten to the doctors office that morning it was about 85 degrees and now when she stops for gas it is over 106, definitely not a good day for me as the air conditioner was having a hissy fit as well. So we gas up and go to start the gar and the battery decides it has had enough, it wont do anything. The heat has gotten so bad that the batter will not crank the car over. Here I am in hellish pain with no AC and the car wont start to get me to a dental surgeon to get rid of the cause of the pain. Will the day ever end? Will Loki in all his antics just leave me be? Afraid not, that trickster of a god was not through with me yet. He has even more fun and joy to give me that day. I am kinda glad I forgot part of it.

My wife is frantic and no one around will help they are just cursing her for blocking a the gas pump, so she calls her place of work to see if someone could come and help. They tell her someone is one the way but not really who it was, just the color of the car they would be driving. They sent help in the way of the one manager that no one seems to get along with, the one manager that loves to criticize anything and everything. You know the type, we have all seen them, the ones that are out to impress to get a raise or promotion. Well once the manager gets there they immediately take charge and say they have jumped several cars and then fumble with the cables like they don’t know what they are doing. I know for a fact that juice is not getting to the car but they wouldn’t listen. Now the heat is getting to me which in turn is causing the pain to get worse as well as trigger a condition I have that causes emotional attacks. I verbally lit into both of them and then started walking down the street in frustration and pain. I don’t remember the whole walk but it was over 5 miles to get to my house and it is around 106 degrees the whole way.

By the time I got home my wife was frantic having called the different stores along the way and was thinking of calling the hospital and police when I showed up. She had gotten the car towed to the house and get this, when a person came over and attached the cables to the car it started right up with no problems at all. Just like a person, it shut down because of the heat. The batter is old but still works just not like it used to. It had to cool down, it had to relax and chill before it could do what it needed to. You could say that car was telling all of us how we should live out lives, that it is OK to just shut down now and then so that we don’t get hurt. But as they say that was not the end of the story, there is more to tell.

That night was painful, even more so after the doctor had been pulling, rocking and twisting my tooth to get it out. The tooth was jagged where the forceps had bit into the tooth and it was now more painful then ever. I couldn’t wait till morning to get the thing out but Loki was still not finished with me, not for a long shot. Every month like clockwork funds are deposited and we knew that it would be enough to cover the visit to the surgeon but guess what, it hadn’t cleared yet and due to previous clients they needed payment that would clear. So off to the bank we go to see what is wrong and find that it was delayed for some reason, not stopped, just delayed. The only thing we could do was to get a signature loan for the amount and head back to the doctor. Even though it only took 20 minutes at the bank it seemed like a lifetime to me with all the pain I was in but now was had things going forward.

Once we got back we prepaid for the extraction and then I was x-rayed and put in the chair. The dentist looked at the x-ray and said it would be out in no time at all. I of course didn’t believe him after sitting in another chair being yanked on for over an hour but he said not to worry but I did. He then numbed the gum just a little and then jammed the needles in to numb it some more. He actually said the needles were the worst part of it and that the rest would be easy. Then he grabbed his tools and went to work and talked me through the entire process. He told me when it might hurt, what sounds I would hear and when there would be pressure and then he was done and showing me the biggest collection of tooth root I ever saw. He pulled the whole thing out in one go and didn’t have to cut anything. And get this, the extraction took less then a minute. 3 days of pain and the cause was gone in under a minute. There was such relief with the pressure gone. Sure there would be more pain as it healed but the pressure was gone.

Just goes to show that if you can find a way to get through it all and be willing to eat soft foods for a while you can get through just about anything. Eventually the pressure and what was causing the pain will go away and then you get to realize just what a jerk you had been during the whole process. I am so glad I wasn’t just kicked out on my ear for the way I was whining about every little thing. So now I am mending and starting to be able to actually eat again and can look back at the whole thing as a lesson learned. If you can be patient even the worst of pain can be washed away with just one swift pull of a tooth.